Subsidies? Subsidies? What are they? Who are they for? Do you think farming would be better off without them?

Look at the long view: farming has always been at the mercy of some busybody or another. From the enfoeffment of land by Saxons and Normans; the enclosures to the meddling by government since the Industrial Revolution. During World War 2 it was permissible by law for farmers to have their farms requisitioned if they did not comply with government guidelines. Land is precious; landowners have always been the villains of the piece. I can think of one or two who make us look a little more attractive: Chaucer’s Franklin, that stout and festive old egg and his Restoration counterpart Squire Alworthy, bibulous, sanguine, fond and with about as much sensitivity as a Newfoundland pup! On the whole a landowner gets in the way of rustic fun for our town cousins. We stop them frolicking in the countryside.

But in a crisis, we’ll be the ones who will feed Britain. Meanwhile, to get cheap food our masters have decreed that it be subsidised. The Supermarket story is a familiar one and so I won’t bore you with it. But the outcome of the ability to access cheap food is that there is a subsidy culture that will create huge problems to get out of. Supermarkets know within a penny what subsidies bring in and pay accordingly. This skews the real price of food production until farmers are forced to depend on subsidy. You can either be big to produce big and cheap or small and very clever at spotting a niche market. You can add value to your product, as those of us with Highland Cattle do, selling good breeding stock and superb meat to supplement the subsidy, but even that won’t take the place of subsidy unless you have time and energy to diversify. Farmers are conservative on the whole; their average age is around 60 and they’re getting nearer to when they want to tick along – not begin a thrusting new career. To ask them to change into a Del Boy would be too cruel.

Our own subsidy is small: our children are taxed more than we earn in subsidies, but it constitutes the basis of our income and without it we would have a cash flow problem. But as the “crunch” bites, and government, most of whom know diddly squat about agriculture and even less about rural poverty, decides to crack down; the small farms and small people are put under pressure. This is because government secretly knows that it’s not taking care of them, and that we know too, so we may, Heaven forbid! cheat to make ends meet. As we know those in Westminster never do this! For those who don’t cheat the scrutiny make one wish that one had! Chaps in 4X4’s, the same chaps of the cheap after shave and the shifty look, come roaring on the farm yard scattering dogs, cats, children and any animals you may be bringing from one part of the farm to another.

Paid a regular salary for a day’s work they use up the best part of a very busy farmer’s day to inspect a section of our animals. This is one day on many because it takes at least a day to look at a batch of our beasts at the May organic Farms – the clue is in the name, we are plural! They can’t find anything wrong, so they lecture us on rules that we’ve never heard of. I think they must keep them to themselves so as to have something to chivvy you with. Make themselves feel big. Keep you in line. Then, if you’re lucky you may get your subsidy. The thing is, it’s not their money, it is ours! We’ve never had single farm payment on time. It doesn’t matter as much to us as it would to many; we’ve had other experiences and no debts but many farmers know only farming.

I have my own thoughts as to whether subsidies are a good thing, but if they are to go there must be some consideration for the people who cannot adapt. Otherwise they’ll be a drain on the state, or commit suicide. Many farmers do in desperation. And then we’ll be sorry!

The Ministry men are coming again, I gather they’re bringing a chum – probably a Ministry Vet who doesn’t do mud, wellies, or cattle. Shall I let them into the barn with the steers?